Only 2 days until Christmas!

Large parts of the city streets are closed to vehicles today, so vendors could set up stands for last-minute Christmas shopping, and the streets were choked with shoppers. It's a lot like Mall Madness in the US, only you can wander through and check it out without having to go to the smelly ol' mall. Some vendors had loudspeakers set up to announce their wares and their prices, which sounded a lot like the safety speeches at the carnival - you know how sometimes they got on those crappy speakers and you can't understand anything, and you just hear "so absolutely don't kkkkkkkrrrrrrrkkkkkkknks for riding the John Denver Experience." Mostly there were toys, chinsy plastic stuff from China; but there were also some interesting board games, one of which was called "Terrorismo!" which had a box sporting a large picture of a Bin Laden-esqe fellow shouting a war cry and holding his AK dramatically over his head. I also saw someone selling big, live snails - like 8 inches long and 4 inches high - for some unknown purpose. There are even more people selling fruitcakes today, although I haven't noticed anyone actually buying them yet. Pet supplies came out for the final weekend, as well (maybe people buy for their pets last). I saw a lot of leashes, collars, and dog beds being touted in the streets. I also saw a poster for a $500 reward for a lost dog. In the pictures, it had droopy ears and was wearing a pink and red sweater. $500? At that rate I'm surprised there's not a dog-kidnapping ring. $500 is several months wages for a lot of people here. The best though are the guys who don't have stalls and are just holding what they're selling, and it's always really random: OK, that guy has scotch tape and a pair of binoculars, that guy has safety pins and meter sticks, and that guy has one hat, some loose pieces of paper, and some gum.

Yesterday at all the big hotels, families could come and get free toys. I think the big hotels are the most convenient, large indoor areas in the center of the city (they're not the ones giving away the toys). It was pretty fun to see all these really happy little kids on the street though - Army kits for the boys, doll houses for the girls (of course). Occasionally there was something more interesting, like a chess set or a wooden bulldozer. I saw this plump little 3 year old wearing two sweaters, carrying a large, yellow truck. He was looking at it like at that moment, him and that truck were the only things that existed in the whole world.

For myself, I of course picked up a copy of "Terrorismo!" and tried to find a book in Spanish that was geared towards little kids or the mentally incompetent (the latter being my category), but the closest thing I could find was Harry Potter, which I decided was beyond my ability. I asked at one stall for books for kids, and they gave me books about kids; at another stall I told the woman I needed something simple and she just started handing me stuff she thought a gringo would buy, like Dan Brown. In Cusco my teacher recommended The Little Prince, so I've been keeping my eye out but haven't seen a copy yet.

I also saw a guy selling these little toys that have a little wooden man that spins on some elastic. He was turning one, but I wouldn't say he was playing. He was old, in his 60's I'd say, with a weathered sport jacket, soiled slacks, cheap flip flops and a newsie hat. He had a small tarp full of the toys, and looked as if he hadn't sold anything all day. The toys looked home-made, and I wondered if he had made them himself. He looked so alone, in a street full of people. Like he didn't care anymore. Waiting for a customer, or to die. Whichever. It's funny how you can spend a lot of time walking by street families, people hoping to sell some safety pins and meter sticks, and then something like this happens and it makes you really sad. It made me really sad, anyways.

I saw maybe a half-dozen Mormons out today as well, something I had never seen in La Paz. Maybe a last-ditch effort to get Bolivians to celebrate the REAL prophet this Christmas. Which is just what Bolivians need: just as they're starting to discover their own autonomy and work around some of the more repressive doctrines of the Catholic Church, another group of white people come in with an even more authoritarian religion. Although I guess it's a close match in that arena. Have you ever noticed how the Pope always says he wants to fight "secularism and moral relativism"? Clever bit of PR on his part, kind of like saying "don't worry, post-9/11 America, we're going to get Bin Laden and Saddam." Of course he's implying that someone like me, who is a secularist, has no morals just because I'm not part of the Man in the Funny Hat Club, and that religious people, but Catholics in particular, are the only true moral force in the world. Just one more way the Pope manages to make his Church look like a bunch of assholes. In the same vein, the Mormon church posthumously baptizes people without permission, like they tried to do with Simon Wiesenthal, a Jew and a well-known holocaust survivor and Nazi-hunter. In the words of Rabbi Marvin Hier, "Mr. Wiesenthal proudly lived as a Jew, died as a Jew... and at his request was buried in the state of Israel. It is sacrilegious for the Mormon faith to desecrate his memory by suggesting that Jews on their own are not worthy enough to receive God's eternal blessing." Oh, but what Rabbi Hier doesn't realize is that once we die we'll realize our horrible mistake of being non-Mormon and be really happy that the Mormons have a freaky, posthumous baptism program. I know this isn't a proper will, but let me say this to my family: under no account am I to be baptized as Mormon after I die (the Mormon church claims that this only happens at the families request (like with Mr. Wiesenthal, right?). Well, quite frankly, my religion is my choice, not my parents or anyone elses).


So the good news about my room is that the construction has ceased. The bad news is that the room next to me is now inhabited by a serious snorer. Not like a saw, or even a chainsaw. More like a whole sawmill. I had some very decent silicone earplugs in and he still kept me up. After an hour of that, I banged on the wall a few times, thinking that if he woke up and stopped snoring for a few minutes, I could nod off. But he didn't wake up. I always forget that a lot of guys snore until I'm around a lot of different guys, which happens travelling. If I were someone who dated men, that would be a dealbreaker for me, I think.

Another thing that I find strangely annoying about hostels here is that they're all locked in the front, 24/7, but very, very rare is it that you will receive a key to room and to the front. Instead, you have to ring the bell and wait. It makes me feel like I have servants or something, and I can't help but feel a little guilty making someone come open the door for me several times a day.

Since I'm on the subject of little annoying things, the Bs. 2 coins here come in two different sizes, one of which is the same size as the Bs. 1 coin. Both are the same, uniform silver color. What person in charge of that decision ever thought that would be a good idea?

It's hard being all alone for so long. That's the hardest part. It'll be a lonely Christmas, and there certainly won't be any kissing on New Years. You lose a lot of your personality when you can't speak the language, too. Nobody here knows how smart and funny I am! They only get the handsome part... actually, I was sitting in a park the other day and a lot of people were staring at me, and one guy even told me I need to get a hat for the sun (I think that's what he said. I heard "sombrero" and "sol" at least). I had gotten kind of burned on my face, and it looked like I had been in a fight - both my eyes were black, I figured out once I was home. Part of that is I've been getting allergy-eyes at night, so I scratch them. I might have to try some potatoes or cucumbers I guess. Does that really work, you think? I'm not really trying to impress anyone, but for like half an hour I was thinking "why the Hell is everyone exchanging closeted words and staring at me and snickering?"