Oh, just more of my pithy observations and rambling

Tag on the shirt I bought today:

The signature created
For professional skaters
Of the world spirit of
Adventure extreme resistent
Clothes the hard
Treatment the mark droors

My sugestion to Latin companies looking to translate their products into English is to stop using free online translators. I just don't think it's working.

So there was an Israeli in town that got in touch with some of my Bolivian friends on Couchsurfing (which I want to reitterate is a great site - http://www.couchsurfing.com), and they all came over to surprise me and make dinner. We made some Israeli food I forget the name of (shakuza or something) with tomatoes, garlic, hot peppers, bell peppers, and eggs. It's kind of like a thick stew, and you put a big pot in the middle and everyone scoops it out with bread. It was pretty tasty, although it was way too spicy for the Bolivian girls, and then I got under their skin by making fun of South Americans for being the biggest spice sissys ever. Which they are - this wasn't the first time I've heard complaints about non-spicy food from the locals; I couldn't even tell it was spicy. I guess spicy food is more of a Central American thing, or maybe just a Mexican thing.

So yeah, this guy, Doron, was pretty chill, although he still had plenty to say that I found to be... one-sided, I guess. Like he was saying about how now that the big Israeli barrier wall has been built, crime is way down and Israel is a lot safer. And about how Arab-Israelis are too scared to do anything wrong, because they know that they'll be snatched up by the police in minutes if anyone feels like complaining about them, and that England and France should be taking notes on how Israel handles its Muslims. And yes, I had plenty to say about those things, but I didn't really. I was trying to tell him about Muslim communities in America, and that generally they're very Americanized, wealthy, educated, etc., that America doesn't face the same issues with its Muslim communities as places like France, but he kept cutting me off to say things like "yeah, Muslims are really awful! I don't understand them at all!" Like when I said that Muslims in the US are pretty wealthy for the most part, he said "yeah, they're funnelling money for the terrorists!" OK, not my point, and not true, but OK.

I dunno. I guess it's pretty easy to criticize from the outside, but like I said before, I generally see the situation as Israel having all the guns and all the money and the Palestinians having nothing. And building walls to steel more territory doesn't strike me as helping that situation. It's kind of like the assholes who live in gaited communities so they don't have to acknowledge poverty, and because "it's safer here." Or, as David Cross says that really means, "it's whiter here. It stays white out later, if you get my drift."

So all the private security guards wear all this stuff with SWAT sewn onto it, which I find a little unnerving. Why? Because it seems to indicate an obvious inferiority complex, and I get nervous around guys with obvious inferiority complexes, especially when they're carrying billy clubs.

I saw two guys working on a building today, standing on a bench made from two sandbags; teetering on top of each sandbag were two large bricks, and streched between them was maybe a 12 foot board that was so bowed from their weight that I was surprised it was even holding them I thought it was a pretty Bolivian answer to "How will we make a bench for ourselves?" or maybe "how will I supply a bench to my employees?" I wished I'd had my camera.

So there was a power outage for most of the day today, which meant I had to trek up the stairs of my building to my 12th story apartment. It was then that I noticed that there are no fire alarms anywhere in the building - inside or outside the apartments - which is especially ominous given the iron bars that are locked from both sides (at least when the power isn't out) on the third floor. Maybe if there's a fire they unlock the door. Or maybe they did studies with convicts that found that there's a good chance of surviving a jump from the third story.

I know I mentioned that guy who was telling me how the government should re-nationalize everything that was privatized in the 90's while I was waiting for my interviews, but I didn't tell you what he mentioned about Evo: Evo never went to college. Or, in America, we would say Evo never went to high school (in LA, college comes before university, and is equivalent to what we would call high school). In a way, I think that's really cool, because he hasn't had all his convictions watered down by "education," and he didn't get to be president just because he's rich and his daddy was president. But in another way, I find it worrying. I mean, when he decides to "nationalize" the gas, and the technocrats at YPFB tell him "OK, so the plan is to switch from concession-based agreements to production-sharing agreements, so take will change this way and..." - do Evo and his cabinet have the ability to understand the nuances involved? And I feel like my concerns are played out in the conduct of national policy, because the impression I get from the Evo government is that they come up with something, like nationalizing gas or implementing a policy requiring American citizens to have tourist visas, and they say "hey, this is a good idea!" and then the announce it, and make a big deal about it, and then they get back to the office and think "how the hell are we going to do this?" Like with the gas, it's been 11 months since Evo declared "nationalization" and 5 months since new contracts were supposed to be secured, and contract negotiations are ongoing and the state still does not exercise majority control in the gas sector (just like before "nationalization," the state controls just under half of the stake in domestic gas operations. There is disagreement within the MAS party about how majority control will be secured - whether through a forced buy-out or an outright expropriation). In terms of the visas for Americans, Evo said in January that it would be a new requirement; no one, neither the American nor the Bolivian embassies, had any idea what it would mean (how much it would cost, whether or not it would require a consular visit, how long it would be valid for, etc.); in February the Bolivian embassy was saying beginning "sometime in March" (but still no details); once March rolled around the embassy was saying "April 1st. For real this time" (and still no details). Once April 1st came and went, information on the new visa mysteriously vanished from the embassy site. So I'm guessing it will happen whenever they can actually figure out how to do what it is they want to do, or not at all.

Uh, what else. I bought a cell phone, which I can't figure out how to use (I've never owned a cell phone before). You should have seen me before I got the menus into English, though. But the best part was when I bought the phone, the woman had to "adjust" the charger: I think the phones are smuggled in from Brazil, which has those diagonal outlets, so she took some pliers and twisted the prongs until they would fit into vertical holes. Genius! Of course, not as genius as putting the circuit breaker in the shower, which seems to be the norm here (and Peru. Actually, I have yet to be electrocuted by a Bolivian shower, whereas that happened regularly in Peru).

After we're done on the internet Perttu and I are going to the oxygen bar, which is actually just a couple blocks from our house. So that should be fun - La Paz is definitely a place that could use an oxygen bar! Actually, the other day I was walking down the main ave (which is at 10.5K feet) through all the pollution from all the diesel, and thinking that my body probably had a chronic oxygen shortage. I've never been to an oxygen bar, but I'll let you know how it goes.

And now, to try and fulfill my promise that this blog would have all the juicy, titillating stuff, please enjoy this digital photo manipulation I whipped up of my friend Natasha and I. This is of our secret lovers-rendezvous in Bermuda (you can see the ocean in the background if you squint), but don't tell my wife, famous Victoria's Secret model Gisele Bundchen!



Alright, it's fun pretending people are interested in anything I have to say... but c'mon, I'm looking pretty hot in those pinstripes, I think.

Oh yeah, one othert thing: I was sitting around waiting for my interview in the National Assembly building today (I spend probably 10 times longer waiting than I do interviewing), and I heard Nelson wolf-whistle. I turned to see a lone female figure making her way along the corridor, and I wasn't sure which was worse: that Nelson is so comfortable doing that that he isn't shy about doing it in front of foreign guests, or that I was forced to recognize that my instant reaction and reason for turning was to see if she was hot or not (as a foreign guest). I may not whistle, but I probably can't say I'm much better than that.