Why Spanish guys must have the biggest dicks in the world

First, after re-reading this post I need to apologize for it being boorish. But I wrote it so I'll post it.

I've spent time with four different Spanish guys in bars and the one last night was pretty typical: upon introduction (in Spanish) he realized that I wasn't a Spanish speaker, and he asked the Peruvians I was with to confirm it, and then asked me 'if you don't speak Spanish, why are you here?' Well, because the Peruvians I was with invited me I guess. Maybe he meant Peru generally. What a generous spirit! He could be good friends with Pat Buchanan. Whenever I would bring anything up about my own life in the United States, he would always say 'oh, that's normal' or 'that's nothing', always downplaying whatever I had to say and then following it up with something bigger and better. And, since he was copping this attitude because he wanted to take a girl home, I have to conclude that his dick was much bigger than mine. Indeed, bigger than anyone at the bar. Is this some sort of Spanish machismo thing I didn't know about? None of the other guys I've met from Europe (England, Netherlands, Switzerland, Italy, France) act like this. Three of the four Spanish guys were like that, the fourth wanted take me home with his Israeli male friend and Peruvian female friend ('my friends like to sleep with people from all over the world' the Peruvian girl told me. Sold! How could I not want to further a project like that?)
So I'm in an internet cafe in an English school and just spent an hour talking with the teacher, who looked like Jon Lovitz, about Alaska and the United States (which by and whole he approves of as one of the greatest countries on earth, although he couldn't believe that the land of freedom would disallow its citizens travel to Cuba, or that we have poor people), who wants me to come back tomorrow so he could tell me about Jesus Christ. I had more manners than to tell that we actually have that story in the United States, too, and it makes a lot of people do a lot of mean things, like deny people access to emergency contraception (you know I would have a lot more respect for those people if they all had like 10 adopted children). I had a bunch of erratica to talk about but kind of had the wind taken out of me from that long talk, but I'll do my best. Sorry if these entries are getting bland, but I'm going to finalize a trip to Colca canyon tomorrow so I should have more exciting stuff to talk about in a few days. First: I can't believe I didn't mention it earlier, but one of the internet cafes I was in earlier was run by young women and had a very vintage poster of a very young Tom Cruise with no shirt on with a hot-pink background. I couldn't find a copy but this is about how old he was:

There were also various other Latino hunks with no shirts and a few with their pants unzipped. I decided this was an important piece of erratica because it fits with my last post regarding Peruvian sexuality (this balances out the newspapers some I think) and because the Tom Cruise poster made me laugh.

Other strange erratica: a small, independent pizzeria with a vintage-80's Pizza Hut poster inside with 'bring out the good stuff' or something like that on it. The poster itself didn't make me wonder, but the origins of it sure do. I mean did the owner get that thing new, and if so from where? There are no pizza huts in Arequipa... did it somehow bounce around various American continents, in good shape, until it landed here? Which is pretty much what I think every time I go into a bookstore, where they have magazines from as far back as 1981, in good condition and in shrinkwrap. Anyone interested in a 1989 Spanish edition of Men's Health magazine with Arnold Schwartzenegger on the cover? Cause I know where you can get one.

Let's see... suitcase on my arm I talked about in an earlier post... Halloween seems to exist here, because those same little plastic pumpkins we get in the States are for sale in stores here. I can't wait to trick or treat! Maybe I'll be Uncle Sam. I also saw Santa Claus on the street today, amongst moving traffic. About half the cops here are women. Actually I'd put it at 2/5. But that's pretty good I think. I learned last night at the bar that most Peruvians who work in restaurants work on commission only, with no wage. I was a little embarrassed when they asked how much I make in restaurants in the US. In Peru, the people directly elect a president, but they have a unicameral congress which is voted on by proportional representation. This allows a multi-party system and discourages one party from gaining too much control of the congress. Sort of the best of the presidential/parliamentary system I guess. Then again I don't know how much power the president or congress gets, but if it's similar to the US then it means people could vote for one person who they identify strongly with, but also support a broader platform by voting for a party in congress. And I'm way too tired to analyze it more than that. But I will add that when I turn my budget in and 'beer' appears very prominently, that's because I'm out learning about South American culture.

Well that's pretty much it. Mostly I got back on to get the more menacing picture of Benedict on the last post (I was having trouble with it before). You have to admit, Benedict is a much more menacing pope than John Paul, who really had a an awe shucks sort of attitude towards denying women the right to control their pregnancies. Actually John Paul was a pretty good guy, despite his unwillingness to rescind the papal declaration on birth control.